User blog:Enkeies/Help! Dont know if I got an hability or what happenned?

Uhm so Im new here as user but.. I've been reading this wiki for a while. (sorry for my english)

Well I hope someone can tell me what happenned to me and if it is an hability, and if its dangerous or not.. I have a lot of questions, and also would like to share this experience here. So here's the thing.

Since I was child I like paranormal and psionics things but didn't pay too much attention to it. So... basically all started one year ago (14 years old) I was at a friend's house, where's like also parks and a lake. It was 19:00o'clock and suddenly I felt a very strange but good sensation, I felt very passively that all the things around me are actually.. dead. I can't describe so well the feeling 'cause.. I just dont know the words. It felt relaxing, strange but good. Then I started to walk to the lake with my friend and suddenly I fell down, feeling stronger the sensation that everything was dead. Then I closed my eyes and felt like I'm actually not there, I dont think it was OBE because.. I didnt felt I was in other place, I didnt actually saw me like astral projection (I think) so yeah that was very new to me so I started panicking and that turned things worse, started seeing black, didnt felt my hands, etc. But I actually was available to difference between the panic attack and the actual feeling. So then I walked and felt even stronger the irreality feeling that all was dead, like it was a strong drug but.. I do not consume drugs. So then a doc came and took me blood analysis if something bit me or consumed something.. and it was nothing. So since then, all days in school were like.. 'arrive, class, walk normally, suddenly feel everything was dead, start panicking, go to the school psychologist, didnt help, home, panic.' Note that I didnt know that I was having a panic attack after I felt the sensation, I thought it was always this weird sensation. (except the first time). So then I went with the psychiatrist and told me that I needed to take pills for the panic attack, and explained me that one part of my brain is overreacting to things and scaring all the time and thats why I was having panic attacks.. So I took the pills and it actually helped, didnt ever have those pannic attacks..

But then.. The sensation appeared again.. very weird, I didnt pannic at it. It was on class, I just started to think and imagine random things, then I stared at the wall, and my mind was like dissapearing on students and teacher voices.. And again felt that all of that was dead. Then I arrived home and my mom started to tell me something, and started to think sooo deeply about who is she actually, and then saw her like she is actually not there! she was not real, or even me, all turned around.. then I distracted my mind on something else and the sensation or feeling disappeared and turned all normally again.

So that's actually the thing. Sometimes I feel it again if I actually want to feel it. Im writing this right now and theres something in my mind that is avoiding the sensation to enter, so Im not feeling this sensation right now. When I started to read this wikia like about 2 months ago I thought about this sensation so much, and I thought: "What if... It is something like astral projection, or another ESP thing?" The only thing that is stopping me about feeling this again freerly, is fear. Is fear about dead, what IF it is NOT and ESP hability and is something like not known and I would die.. BUT.. What IF it is actually and ESP hability or something to do with psionics but I cant let this sensation go any further because of my fear.. But if it is an esp I would be so happy then.. And try to find out whats going on.

So I would be so grateful if you know what is this about, and if I need to be scared of this or not? It is something about Psionics or it doesnt have nothing to do with it? Note that I never saw me like in an other place, or something like astral projection. I just feel that everything is gone, is not real, and it is a strong sensation. I feel it so strong.

Thank you for reading ~